Time for another edition of Newsmash, a mashup of headlines taken from CNN.com over the last 24 hours. For added fun, guess which of the headlines below was NOT altered in any way, but appears just as it did on CNN.com (*answer following):
Amish invade Florida town
Baby squirrel to help count California rats
Best dressed sheriff loves house standing
Blind masseurs jump from bridge
Candy may prevent attack
How to avoid places that are good for teeth
How we got into this meltdown
Is boutique passenger jet worth the price?
Japanese glasses caught in submarine
Man finds dead satellite
Medicine gains in mass popularity
Mystery of bloody money mess
Orbiting shark scrambles for safe milk
Parents you’ve never heard of
Reality warned to back off
Rescuers free giant lizards from toilet
Russian roulette takes center stage
Squealing cat beats pig to death
This administration allegedly survives hurricane
Who gives better answers, people or miracle cat?
*And the winner is… Blind masseurs jump from bridge. Sometimes you just can’t beat reality, so… Reality warned to back off!
Pundits threaten baby’s arm
Pregnant Marine caught stuffing puppy under sweater
James Bond execution caught on tape
Internet suicide blamed on weird weather
Disney World faked confrontation video
Nude teacher stuck on roof
Meanest mom on planet named Most Eligible Pet
Hospital error blamed on Chuck E. Cheese
Feds toss ice pioneer off bridge
Baby polar bear is probably a glowing pig
Australians battle farthest glaciers
Comedian sees Mark of Beast
Worst-Dressed celeb cuts off, microwaves hand
Girl, 2, arrested in shootout
Ikea blamed for Diana’s death
Wednesday — Afghanistan Puts Down and Rolls Up Foreign Contractors
Shrapnel Causes 25,00 Wrecks
Year 11, 2001: Terrorist Attacks Document — Plotting to Blow up the Editor
Early Roster of Al Qaeda Superstars Planned Simultaneous Attacks on Wednesday
Obese ‘Idol’ host took delight in his sunburned hands, smoked cocaine, crabs and sponges.
Israel’s Destiny School Postponed According to Sources
The wealthiest African-American detainees are more than extended.
Inside, infamous casualties rise. Commission to strike again.
Sea Change — Mexico Clinging to Rocks
Israeli prosperity affirms ironclad peace, killing top security targets investigating Qaeda plots.
Tailspin for a Team — United States Sept. 11, 2001
Guantanamo Drill — The Shimmering Water Lapped Against Extremist Militants
TV Job Awaits 6-year-old Girl in trash-strewn compound west of Baghdad
Sept. 11 terrorist a patriot compelling Detroit Pistons chronicler to reenlist.
A man smiled to determine whether he is John Kerry.
Wednesday. More Attacks — New Interim Government Behind After Bombing.
More Chunks Lodged in Pipeline — Jailed Militants Revealing Large Pain
Saudis Say Give In To Al Qaeda
Ill-planned Iraq officers said on Wednesday U.S. may cede Baghdad to Saddam Hussein.
Rebuffing the Sept. 11 Attacks in a Hair-raising ABU GHRAIB Bathroom
Mentally Unfit Interim Government Aided Prewar Rhetoric
Turbulent National Basketball Academy Mall Plot Slammed
Mental Health Soldiers Won’t Necessarily Make Your Belly Fat
Capitol Office Disease — VP Hunt Ordered
Child-killer to Give Fresh Hijacked Planes to Southeast Asia — Sept. 11, 2001
Fat-related Singing to Increase Oil Production
American Guards on Junk — Casual Beating Experiences in March
War Erodes United Military Emotions
Saudi Arabia “Does Not Deserve” Liposuction — Attorney General Suspected on Bribery Charge
Independent al-Qaida terror insurgents sabotaged pipelines, lost 19 of 31 games.
JERUSALEM. Hollywood’s Oscar lawsuits for Vanity Fair.
